Sunday, 4 January 2009

Bottle Merchant

It is very weird how some things can have an actual affect on your life. Some silly random happenings can make you think quite a lot about yourself.

Last night, I was in Red, a Greenock nightclub toilets. The club is called Red and i was in the toilets, by the way, the nightclub doesn't have a separate name for toilets. Anyway, I witnessed a fight in the toilets of Red. None of this so far is unusual. Given that I hate shit music, I am in Red more often than I would like. Also, given that red have a door policy that is pretty easy going, its not too unusual to witness a fight. Anyway, I left a bottle of beer on the sink and went to the toilet, but soon noticed the fight in a cubicle. Then, from within the cubicle, I heard a smash, and more bouncers than I recognised as actual workers ran in to the cubicle for a scuffle.

Along with the others in the toilet unaware of the consequences of the smash, my mind was racing. However, I would imagine most of them were thinking: "Oh my God, is that guy OK?" or "Is he dead, should i phone an ambulance?". Actually, because of the type of town it is, a lot of people were probably thinking "Wow, I love drugs". My brain went like this: "this is stressful, I need to drink my beer to calm down. Where has my beer gone? I left it right there, next to the soap. Theres half of my beer bottle. that guy has just smashed my beer bottle at someone."

While others would worry they might be required to be a witness, or that they are an accessory to murder, I just thought that the guy who did the bottling really owed me 2.50. You might be thinking: What a dick for only thinking of his beer. And I kind of thought that myself, its been troubling me ever since. Perhaps I am horrible. But not as much as the mystery bottler, or the people for who charge 2.50 for beer.


  1. My first thought was that it must have been a pretty big cubicle to fit in a rammy including bouncers. My second thought was that having spent the last week in Galway paying 5 Euros for a pint of Guinness (which now equates to £5), you were let off lightly paying only £2.50 for a bottle!

  2. Kinda like the other day.
    My fiance went into the back cupboard to find something, switched on the light, and the lightbulb just dropped on her head. She yelped in pain and fright.
    I rushed in and asked:
    "Did you break the filament?!"